a time for everything under the sun

i am quite curious to see if anyone will read this. i had purposed to use this blog as my traveling update, but unfortunately there was no international travel to reflect on (see previous (and only) blog). instead i ventured off to the vail valley of beautiful colorado. you have heard it was beautiful, yes? well, the 5 months i spent there were the ugliest of my life. literally. the only colors i saw when i looked around were white and brown. and of course blue since it truly is sunny quite often. but the point being, i missed the northwest. i missed the smells; the sights; the ability to breathe; even the rain! no, especially the rain. the way the earth smells after the rain has stopped, the rainbows only capable of sharing their beauty when there has been rain, the fact that rain makes everything green. a true, deep, life giving green. i hadn't ever realized how attached i was to where i grew up. i always knew i was going to travel. i've even fantasized of living in another country and raising a family there. but wherever i end up, i now know there are certain things about the lay of the land that i cannot sacrifice. the beauty of this area calms me. the smells calm me. the way of life calms me. i only lived in colorado for 5 months. but i had to return home.

but the time i spent there was most definitely not in vain. if i hadn't gone to colorado, i wouldn't have met lydia. and if i hadn't met lydia, i wouldn't be here in eugene, or. this is where i'm meant to be. as for why, we'll see. i just know that being here is a good step. i'm not in school and i haven't found a full time job. but i'm looking into some intense and wonderful grad programs and i am blessed to have the opportunity of nannying for my cousin's best friends. they have a daughter named elise who is 2 and a half years old. one of the smartest 2 and a half year olds by the way. plus, she could be a hobbit. in the cutest way possible. she has curly blonde hair and big brown/green eyes. i have missed working with children, and time with her has brought joy into my heart.

i'm not entirely sure what the point of this blog is. i felt inspired. maybe it's because i have a lot of extra time on my hands while my new friends are all in school :)

i know that in 6 days it will have been a year since my wreck. i won't be celebrating the fourth of july in the doctor's office. or in another country :) this year i'm going back to shelton to be with my family. to enjoy my grandpa's favorite holiday. to sit in his chair and remember how excited he would get every fourth of july. to be with my grandma and see for myself that she's recovering well. to be with my sister who lives so far away now. the time we have is so precious. to be with my cousin sammie (and kari) and laugh hysterically at how funny we are. to see my seanie all grown up and now 15! to see my aunt sara and uncle dave, whom i love very much. to be with my parents who are so ridiculously in love with their children and have sacrificed more than i'll ever know for our sake.

at this time in my life, my heart is at rest. i am content. i am happy. i am thankful.

time to sleep and stop this grammatically incorrect fiasco of a post :)

post script - i should also include that i don't think colorado and the rocky mountains are the ugliest things i've ever seen (drive through parts of idaho or the midwest some time). i truly loved the beauty that was there, but in comparison...it has nothing on my home :)